A Choice

August 28, 2009

8-28-09_breakfast8-28-09_lunch

Food Units
small muffin and a banana. 5
tomato soup and half a grilled cheese sandwich. 8
mcdonalds 1/4 pounder with fries. 23
Total: 36

Table provided by Roni’s Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Anyone who has visited my blog in the month of August has seen that I haven’t been being very accountable for what I eat. I haven’t been blogging or keeping track of what I eat. The only signs that I’m still alive and kicking is that I’ve continued to post my weigh-ins. I’m going to be honest, I haven’t done a whole lot at all this month to loose weight. What is worse is that I’ve even begun to feel like this goal to loose weight may be impossible. I’ve started to give up.

I don’t want to weigh 300lbs anymore. I like seeing my scale read a loss each week. I feel disgusted with myself seeing a gain this week….a huge gain of 5 pounds. When I’m not actively doing something to loose weight I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I feel ugly, none of my cloths make me feel good about myself. When I am loosing the weight, however slow, just knowing that I am doing something to change my circumstances makes me feel different about myself. I feel proud of myself, I do feel pretty and looking in the mirror is not such a horrible thing.

I have a choice. Next week will my scale read a loss or a gain? It’s up to me.

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