A Choice

August 28, 2009

8-28-09_breakfast8-28-09_lunch

Food Units
small muffin and a banana. 5
tomato soup and half a grilled cheese sandwich. 8
mcdonalds 1/4 pounder with fries. 23
Total: 36

Table provided by Roni’s Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Anyone who has visited my blog in the month of August has seen that I haven’t been being very accountable for what I eat. I haven’t been blogging or keeping track of what I eat. The only signs that I’m still alive and kicking is that I’ve continued to post my weigh-ins. I’m going to be honest, I haven’t done a whole lot at all this month to loose weight. What is worse is that I’ve even begun to feel like this goal to loose weight may be impossible. I’ve started to give up.

I don’t want to weigh 300lbs anymore. I like seeing my scale read a loss each week. I feel disgusted with myself seeing a gain this week….a huge gain of 5 pounds. When I’m not actively doing something to loose weight I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I feel ugly, none of my cloths make me feel good about myself. When I am loosing the weight, however slow, just knowing that I am doing something to change my circumstances makes me feel different about myself. I feel proud of myself, I do feel pretty and looking in the mirror is not such a horrible thing.

I have a choice. Next week will my scale read a loss or a gain? It’s up to me.

Advertisements

Friday Weigh-In

August 28, 2009

feet-on-scale Friday Weigh-In

My scale read 311 lbs. today. It finally happened, I’ve been expecting it for a few weeks now, I gained on the scale. It’s actually a good thing. I’ve been too lazy with the way I have been eating. I would of continued along that path as long as I continued to loose each week even if it was small losses each week. Now I have to make a decision…. will I allow my scale to go up or down next week? Do I really want to give up? NO! Do I really want to be content weighing over 300 lbs.? NO! Can I turn things around and next week have my scales read a loss of weight? YES, I definetly can do that!

311 lbs, +5 pounds for the week.

Friday Weigh-In

August 21, 2009

feet-on-scale Friday Weigh-In

I weighed in today at 306 lbs. with a total loss for the week of 2 lbs.

I feel great about this! Only a few more pounds to go and I am out of 300 land.

Discouraged

August 17, 2009

Already I’ve broken my goals for this week. We had a movie night and then the next evening a poker night. There was cookies and chips and pop and pizza…. I had no self control. I’m feeling pretty discouraged today. I am wondering what happened to the resolve I had a few months ago to loose weight. I want to know how I can regain it.

Renewing My Determination

August 14, 2009

8-14-09_breakfast8-14-09_lunch

Food Units
a bowl of oatmeal and 1/4 a cantaloupe. 4
rice, bean and cheese quasidilla. 13
blackberry cobbler and an apple fritter. 15
Total: 32

Table provided by Roni’s Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

I haven’t been counting points, I haven’t been journaling, I haven’t been exercising and I haven’t been blogging. I’m honestly amazed that I lost a pound this week. I was expecting to weigh in with a huge gain. I need to seriously get re-focused. I need to remember my goals, remember why I want to loose this weight so bad. I am tired of being the fat girl. It’s time to get organized again. To motivate and challenge myself I am going to set little mini goals for the coming week.

1. I will journal and blog all my bites for the week.

2. I want to loose 3 lbs for the week.

These are my goals. I’m not giving up on my long term goal of loosing all this weight. The coming week is a fresh week and I’m renewing my dertimination and desire to meet my goals. I can do this!

Friday Weigh-In

August 14, 2009

feet-on-scale Friday Weigh-In

*sigh* Another 1 lb. loss for the week. Thats 4 weeks in a row. I know its a loss and I should be happy but it just feels like its going to take forever to loose all my weight.

Current Weight = 308 lbs.     Total loss=19lbs.

Points Are Not The Enemy

August 8, 2009

8-7-09_breakfast8-7-09_snack18-7-09_snack2

Food Units
1/4 cantaloupe and 1cup egg and veggie scramble. 6
a package of cheese and crackers before and after donating plasma. 10
cheese and bean quasidilla. 11
popcorn. 8
Total: 35

Table provided by Roni’s Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

After 3 weeks in a row of 1 lb. losses on the scale I’ve decided to count points again this week. I know a lot of it had to do with being on vacation and having house guests but I think I need to tighten up a little bit and get things back to normal. So back to journaling and counting points!

Today I went a little over my points…. 2 points over to be exact. It was the cheeses and cracker snacks that they gave me when I went to donate plasma today. Next time I go to donate I’ll bring my own snacks along.

I really am looking forward to getting my life back to a normal routine. And points aren’t the enemy. They are there to help me. Tonight for example my mom offered me a snickers bar. She was being nice, we had just helped my brother and his wife move furniture and take out their old carpet in their house to get ready for their new carpet coming in the morning. We were all tired and she was worried about me driving home. She thought the extra energy boost would help me. I would of said yes but I knew i had no points left in my day for it. So I turned it down and I was ok about doing so. Points keep me on track.